The Music Store

SCENE 1. INT MUSIC STORE. [1:00pm]

A MAN ENTERS THE STORE AND LOOKS AROUND BEFORE COMING TO THE COUNTER THE STORE ASSISTANT IS AN OLD MAN WEARING A SAS STYLE TACTICAL ASSUALT SUIT AND BALACLAVA. MUSIC IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND..

MAN:
I’m looking for U2?

ASSISTANT:
[LOOKING AROUND] Us two madam? I’m afraid I’m the only person here, the opticians is just around the corner

MAN:
No, you know, Do you know how to dismantle an atomic bomb?

ASSISTANT:
[LOOKING WORRIED] I’m sorry madam but this is a music store, we don’t provide that type of information here. And, to be honest, I think you should reconsider your motives.

MAN:
[LOOKING CONFUSED] Well, have you got any Anthrax then?

ASSISTANT LOOKS SHOCKED AND STARTS TO PRESS NUMEROUS BUTTONS UNDER THE COUNTER. DIFFERENT SONGS ARE PLAYED INDISCRIMINANTLY OVER THE SPEAKERS.

MAN:
Poison? You must have some poison?

ASSISTANT:
[ANGRILY] I’m sorry madam, but we don’t serve terrorists in this store. Now please leave.

MAN:
But…but…

ASSISTANT PULLS A MACHINE GUN FROM UNDER THE COUNTER. MAN RUNS OUT OF THE STORE

MAN:
Crazy!

ASSISTANT:
[LOOKING CRAZY] Oh, we’ve got that madam.

CRAZY BY GNARLS BARKLEY IS PLAYED OVER THE MUSIC STORE SPEAKERS. (1:35)