Pet Shop 1

SCENE 1. INT. A PETSHOP. [14:00]

AN OLD LADY WALKS INTO A PETSHOP. THE PETSHOP OWNER IS STROKING A COCKEREL. THE PETSHOP OWNER PUTS THE COCKEREL UNDER THE COUNTER AS THE LADY COMES NEAR. WE HEAR THE COCKEREL CALL AND A LIONS ROAR AS LARGE PLUMES OF FEATHERS SHOOT OUT FROM UNDER THE COUNTER.

OLD LADY:
Excuse me…do you have any lizards?

PETSHOP OWNER:
Certainly Sir, [OLD WOMAN LOOKS CONFUSED] any lizard in particular?

OLD LADY:
I’m after a large one

PETSHOP OWNER:
Aren’t we all sir…how about a monitor?

OLD LADY:
[CONFUSED] Well, I’ve got a 19 inch flat screen one at home, it came with my new computer, but what’s that got to do with lizards?

PETSHOP OWNER:
Well…you can see lizards on the internet.

OLD LADY:
I don’t want to see them on the internet, I want a real one! Nevermind, I...I've got to go...

PETSHOP OWNER:
NO...wait...How about a Komodo dragon?

OLD LADY:
Commode!! How dare you! I may be incontinent, but no one has ever called my an old dragon!

PETSHOP OWNER:
No Sir…a Komodo dragon, it’s a type of lizard. I think I’ve got one out back.

THE PETSHOP OWNER GOES INTO THE BACK OF THE PETSHOP AND COMES OUT WEARING A KIMONO AND CARRYING A SMALL KITTEN.

OLD LADY:
That’s not a Komodo dragon.


PETSHOP OWNER:
Sorry…sold the last one this morning to some young child

THE PETSHOP OWNER THROWS THE KITTEN INTO A CAGE WITH A BOA CONSTRICTOR. THE CAMERA PANS AWAY FROM THE CAGE AND WE HEAR MUFFLED MIAOWS.

PETSHOP OWNER:
Good day…