The Sweetshop

SCENE 1. INT. A NEWSAGENTS SHOP – [14:00]

WE SEE MR ROBERTS (MR R), THE SHOP OWNER (A WHITE MAN PRETENDING TO BE ASIAN) FILLING SHELVES. A SHIFTY LOOKING MAN ENTERS AND STARTS PERUSING THE TOP SHELF MAGAZINES. MR R SCUTTLES BEHIND THE COUNTER AND MOVES A SMALL JOYSTICK UNDER THE COUNTER WHICH CONTROLS THE CCTV. HE ZOOMS IN ON THE MAN. TWO OLD WOMEN ENTER THE SHOP AND START TO ROB COUGH SWEETS AND FISHERMANS FRIENDS FROM THE COUNTER AS MR R WATCHES THE MAN. THE TWO WOMEN LEAVE THE SHOP WITH HANDFULS OF SWEETS.

MR R:
(ASIAN ACCENT) Can I help you sir…?

MAN:
Ermm…yes [whispers] have you got big jugs?

MR R:
Certainly not sir…I have lost weight recently.

MAN:
No…that’s not what I meant…Men Only??

MR R:
No sir, we allow women in here also…..no children though…..but animals…yes.

MAN:
Nevermind….

MAN TAKES AN ADULT MAGAZINE FROM THE TOP SHELF AND RETURNS TO THE COUNTER.

MR R:
Ahh yes sir, a very wise choice. It has a very good readers wives page. In fact my wife is in this months issue.

MR R STARTS TO RIFLE THROUGH THE PAGES AS THE MAN LOOKS ON, NERVOUSLY.

MR R:
See…. There she is…

MAN LOOKS AT MAGAZINE.

MAN:
That’s not your wife…I’ve seen your wife…that looks nothing like her


MR R:
(enraged) Get out my shop!