A RETIREMENT HOME SOMEWHERE IN THE COUNTRY. TWO OLD MEN ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER IN THE SITTING ROOM BOTH ARE IN COMFY CHAIR’S.
MAN 1:
Yes well of course things tended to happen like that all of the time!
MAN 2 LOOKS AT MAN 1 STRANGE.
MAN 2:
What are you on about?
MAN 1:
[GESTICULATING] I was merely saying that things happened like that quite often when I was younger.
MAN 2:
Things like what happened?
MAN 1:
Well of course when I asked him to put his fingers in the hole [ MOTIONS THE ACT OF PLACING A FINGER IN A HOLE] he soon changed his tune didn’t he?
MAN 2:
Who did? What are talking about you old duffer?
MAN 1:
Why that bleeding doubting Thomas. It was the last time he ever questioned anything I did I am telling you. I told him all right; you know all God like and that.
MAN 2:
What did you tell him then?
MAN 1:
I said go on Thomas, you doubting bleeder you, stick your fingers in and probe the truth I dare you. I’ve never seen a man so quickly remove his hands!
MAN 2:
What did he do then?
MAN 1:
Well he couldn’t look me in the eye could he all doubting and that, he felt a right berk. He said he felt uncomfortable being asked to probe a man’s hole in front of a group of disciples and all that!
MAN 2:
He has a point.
MAN 1:
He didn’t have to point at anything the damn thing was right in front of him.
MAN 2:
Well what about the others did they have ago?
MAN 1:
No the gang of sheep, they just accepted I was telling the truth didn’t they?
MAN 2:
Oh I see!
MAN 1:
Yes you would if I was to come over there and touch your blind eyes. I am a miracle worker I am.
MAN 2:
But I am not blind!
MAN 1:
See just by the mere thought of it I have cured you.
MAN 2:
Don’t know what to say about that.
MAN 1:
What struck dumb in my presence are you, come here and let me touch your mouth and I will cure you?
MAN 2:
No you are all right!
MAN 1:
Another miracle I have made you speak again. I haven’t lost it.
MAN 2:
You haven’t lost what?
MAN 1:
My touch. I still have it. It’s wonderful being God you know!
MAN 2:
No you are definitely touched I can see that.
MAN 1:
You can still see. Let no one say that Gods miracles are short- term miracles.
MAN 2:
What was going on with that Judas fellow?
MAN 1:
Ah Judas, Judas, Judas. He was a nice chap actually, didn’t deserve the grief people gave him.
MAN 2:
But didn’t he give you up to the Romans for 30 pieces of gold?
MAN 1:
Well yes but it was the Jerusalem Lottery roll over that week and who can blame anyone trying to make a little money on the side.
MAN 2:
You mean you didn’t mind him being bought off like that
MAN 1:
Besides if he hadn’t of done, the prophecy wouldn’t have come true would it?
MAN 2:
No I guess not.
MAN1:
And where would I have been then?
MAN 2:
Another nursing home perhaps?
MAN 2, LOOKS AT MAN1 TO SEE HIS REACTION BUT MAN 1 HAS FALLEN ASLEEP AND IS SNORING NOISILY.
THE END.
MAN 1:
Yes well of course things tended to happen like that all of the time!
MAN 2 LOOKS AT MAN 1 STRANGE.
MAN 2:
What are you on about?
MAN 1:
[GESTICULATING] I was merely saying that things happened like that quite often when I was younger.
MAN 2:
Things like what happened?
MAN 1:
Well of course when I asked him to put his fingers in the hole [ MOTIONS THE ACT OF PLACING A FINGER IN A HOLE] he soon changed his tune didn’t he?
MAN 2:
Who did? What are talking about you old duffer?
MAN 1:
Why that bleeding doubting Thomas. It was the last time he ever questioned anything I did I am telling you. I told him all right; you know all God like and that.
MAN 2:
What did you tell him then?
MAN 1:
I said go on Thomas, you doubting bleeder you, stick your fingers in and probe the truth I dare you. I’ve never seen a man so quickly remove his hands!
MAN 2:
What did he do then?
MAN 1:
Well he couldn’t look me in the eye could he all doubting and that, he felt a right berk. He said he felt uncomfortable being asked to probe a man’s hole in front of a group of disciples and all that!
MAN 2:
He has a point.
MAN 1:
He didn’t have to point at anything the damn thing was right in front of him.
MAN 2:
Well what about the others did they have ago?
MAN 1:
No the gang of sheep, they just accepted I was telling the truth didn’t they?
MAN 2:
Oh I see!
MAN 1:
Yes you would if I was to come over there and touch your blind eyes. I am a miracle worker I am.
MAN 2:
But I am not blind!
MAN 1:
See just by the mere thought of it I have cured you.
MAN 2:
Don’t know what to say about that.
MAN 1:
What struck dumb in my presence are you, come here and let me touch your mouth and I will cure you?
MAN 2:
No you are all right!
MAN 1:
Another miracle I have made you speak again. I haven’t lost it.
MAN 2:
You haven’t lost what?
MAN 1:
My touch. I still have it. It’s wonderful being God you know!
MAN 2:
No you are definitely touched I can see that.
MAN 1:
You can still see. Let no one say that Gods miracles are short- term miracles.
MAN 2:
What was going on with that Judas fellow?
MAN 1:
Ah Judas, Judas, Judas. He was a nice chap actually, didn’t deserve the grief people gave him.
MAN 2:
But didn’t he give you up to the Romans for 30 pieces of gold?
MAN 1:
Well yes but it was the Jerusalem Lottery roll over that week and who can blame anyone trying to make a little money on the side.
MAN 2:
You mean you didn’t mind him being bought off like that
MAN 1:
Besides if he hadn’t of done, the prophecy wouldn’t have come true would it?
MAN 2:
No I guess not.
MAN1:
And where would I have been then?
MAN 2:
Another nursing home perhaps?
MAN 2, LOOKS AT MAN1 TO SEE HIS REACTION BUT MAN 1 HAS FALLEN ASLEEP AND IS SNORING NOISILY.
THE END.
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